THERE AIN’T NOTHING ZESTY ABOUT A DRIVE-THRU DIET. Kick those Dorito-dusted cheese ditches to the curb and park your ass in the kitchen. You don’t need those tacos misérables, TK has your back.
SWEET POTATO AND PINTO BEAN TACOS
3 cups of cooked pinto beans (about 2-15 ounce cans)
1 teaspoons of coconut or olive oil (whatever you already have)
½ cup veggie broth or water
2 teaspoons smoked paprika or chili powder
2 teaspoons blackstrap molasses (this has a bunch of fucking iron in it and is near the maple syrup at the store)
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
2-3 garlic cloves
1 pound of sweet potatoes (this should be about 2 cups when you chop it all up)
½ of a yellow onion
1 teaspoon coconut or olive oil
salt to taste
soft corn tortillas*
whatever toppings you got
Warm the first teaspoon of oil in a medium pot. Add the beans, broth, smoked paprika, molasses, vinegar, and garlic. Get it to start bubbling slowly for about 5 minutes and then turn off the heat.
Chop up the sweet potato and onion so they are about the size of a pinto bean so you’re not taking any confusing bites. Warm up the oil in a large skillet or big-ass pan and add the onion and sweet potato. Cook them until the onion is getting brown and the sweet potato softens up. Add the beans and whatever broth is still in that other pot you already forgot about. Cook this mixture on a medium heat until the potatoes are soft enough for you. This should take 5-8 minutes. If it starts to look dry, add some water. Add salt to taste but don’t go fucking crazy.
I served my tacos topped with lime juice, shredded lettuce, radishes, white onion, green onions, and jalapenos but add the shit you like.
Makes 8 tacos
*to avoid GMO corn, buy organic
THROWBACK THURSDAY UP IN THIS BITCH. I was saving this recipe for my upcoming cookbook but you guys said FUCK THAT. So here is the most requested recipe, The Thug Kitchen RCB Burrito.
ROASTED CHICKPEA & BROCCOLI BURRITO
3 cups of cooked chickpeas (2-15 ounce cans, drained)
1 large yellow onion
1 red bell pepper
1 large crown of broccoli
4 cloves of garlic
3 tablespoons olive oil
1-2 tablespoons soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (You can usually find this old school hippie shit near the vinegars or soy sauces in the healthy eating section of most big grocery stores and on the internet)
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander or more cumin if you don’t want to go to the store
black pepper or cayenne pepper to taste
Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Chop up the onion, bell pepper, and broccoli so that all the pieces about the size of a chickpea. Chop up the garlic real small but save that shit until later. Place all the chopped up veggies in a large bowl with the cooked chickpeas. Pour in the oil and soy sauce, stir, and then throw all the spices in there. Mix until all the vegetables and shit are covered.
Put all of that on a large rimmed baking sheet (like what you would put cookies on but with an edge) and bake for 20 minutes. Take it out of the oven, don’t fucking burn yourself, add the garlic, and bake for another 15 minutes. The broccoli will look a little burnt at this point but that is the plan so chill the fuck out and take it out of the oven. Squeeze the juice of half of the lime over the pan and stir the roasted chickpeas and veggies all around. Taste some and see if it needs more spices or anything. Now make a fucking burrito. I like mine with spinach, avocado, cilantro, and some fire roasted salsa but you do your thing.
makes 6-8 burritos
Spread some of this goodness on your next sandwich. It’s fucking delicious. And it lets you double up on your protein sources and cut down on the fat. Shit, don’t limit yourself to just sammies. This is a choice dip so grab some carrots and cucumbers. Afternoon snack: FUCKING DONE.
SUNDRIED TOMATO SPREAD
¼ cup of sundried tomatoes (don’t buy that shit that comes packed in oil. They are way more expensive. Find the kind that look like dried fruit. They will be near the olives or the canned tomatoes in the grocery store)
1 cup warm water
¼ cup chopped white or yellow onion
1 ½ cups or 1 15 ounce can of cannellini beans (any kind of white bean works, like navy or great northern beans. You just want a creamy kind of bean)
1 clove of garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
½ teaspoon tamari or soy sauce
½ teaspoon dried basil
½ teaspoon dried oregano
Put the sundried tomatoes in a small bowl and cover them with the warm water for 15 minutes.
While the tomatoes soak, cook the onions in a small pan with a little bit of olive oil until they begin to look brown and smell awesome, like 5-8 minutes. Take the tomatoes out of the water and chop them up into pieces but save the water they were soaking in; no need to waste shit. Chop up the garlic into little pieces. Put the beans, sundried tomatoes, onions, and 2 tablespoons of the water from the tomatoes in a food processor and chop that shit up real small. Add the rest of the ingredients and blend it all together until it starts to look creamy. Add more of the soaking water if it looks a little dry. It’s cool if there are still some bigger tomato bits hanging around, just call that shit “rustic”. Add more spices if you think it needs it and serve that fucker up.
This will last a week in the fridge if you are good at keeping delicious secrets from your roommates.
If you’ve gone all summer without drinking a single slushie, take the rest of the day off and whip up this refreshing motherfucker right here. The watermelon and cucumber in this shit help soothe inflammation and the mint will keep your breath on point. FUCK IT. Splash some vodka in there if you want to take tomorrow off too.
WATERMELON CUCUMBER SLUSHIE
3 pounds of watermelon (seedless is best but some seeds are cool)
½ cup skinned, chopped cucumber
juice from 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons)
8-10 fresh mint leaves
¾ cup coconut or tap water
1 teaspoon agave, maple syrup, or honey (optional)
Cut away the rind and chop up the watermelon flesh into pieces no larger than a quarter. You should get about 4 cups. Don’t stress about some seeds, they will get chopped the fuck up in the blender. Just get rid of any big ones you notice. Freeze the chopped watermelon for at least 4 hours or overnight. The watermelon is going to create the slush factor so you want to make sure that shit really fucking frozen.
When the watermelon chunks are frozen add them along with the cucumber, lime juice, mint leaves, and water to a blender and blend until it is all smooth and icy. If you picked out a shitty watermelon you might need to add a teaspoon of a sweetener to make up for the weak melon. Taste it, you’ll know. Trust.
Had a rough day? Replace up to a ½ cup of the water with vodka and get the fuck over it.
Makes about 2 ½ cups of sweet summer slush, enough for 2 people who need to chill the fuck out. Watermelon chunks will stay good in the freezer for at least a month no problem.